The Bald Eagle: Emerging

Right after college, I became an AmeriCorps member where I would be working with middle schoolers. It was my first gig out of college and I was naturally nervous and anxiety ridden to go to my first job without hair. So, I didn’t. I went back to wearing my wig for a couple months. I moved to a new state, gained many new friends, and couldn’t seem to do much without a wig. Oh yes, the compliments rolled in on my perfect “hair.” Except, this time I wasn’t going to lie about what was actually sitting on my head. I couldn’t live the facade I was living back in my hometown. I would automatically reply “oh this?! Nope. It’s a wig. I’m bald.” Cue looks of astonishment. But, I was honest with myself and everyone surrounding me, besides my students.

I found myself in a place where “Weave Time with Friends” made a come back and I was starting to take ownership of my baldness. It was then on Halloween Weekend 2013, that my fellow AmeriCorps member and I had to throw a Halloween dance for a bunch of middle schoolers. My thinking was “well, while everyone is putting wigs ON, I’m going to take mine OFF!” A couple days previous I had found a black skirt at the Goodwill. I cut it by the seams and put it on my head. I tied it to fasten to my head, then decided to wrap it in a bun to keep the excess fabric up. I was nervous, yet excited, to show myself in raw form. I was ready to let the fear of what others think go.

On the night of the party, I was costumeless as to have only one part of me really show off: my head. My spirit was amplified! I was ready! Bald Eagle taking her first flight. I went to the car to swap out the wig for my head wrap. I strolled in the back way of the building and swooped into the kitchen to check with the staff if the head wrap looked alright. All set to go, palms slightly sweaty, heart palpitating, there came my kids. Some didn’t even notice. Others reacted, “MS. WAY! How did you get yourself to look bald?!” The ever so classic, “are you a pirate?” “What happened to your hair?!” The same response for all. “Well, I don’t have hair. What you’ve been seeing is a wig.” Some were just completely dumbfounded. They couldn’t rub their eyes enough to believe I was truly bald and I used to wear a wig. I had to let some kids peek under my scarf to convince them that I didn’t have any hair or a bald cap on. After much disbelief and amusement, I went home an accomplished person.

From then on, I stopped wearing wigs and went on to wear head wraps instead. I’m constantly on the search for some used threads to toss up on my head. Months after my bald debut, I still had students asking if I was bald. Some students would react to the person who questioned me and say, “Really?! Where have you been? She’s been bald for months. She has Alopecia.” The exasperated student(s) had just left me speechless and so proud. I felt relieved to have someone else taking the reigns for me. These are middle schoolers, whom many think can be insensitive and intolerable creatures, who were educating others about my alopecia. My heart still flutters and my face stretches a wide smile when I think of all the kids who have been such inspirations to me. What would I have done in middle school if I had a rad bald lady teacher? I hope that I would have treated her the same way my kids treated me. Like a respectable, fun human being.

Alopecia awareness and education can be spread in multiple ways, but never should it be spread to make people feel sad for you or make you feel like you’re truly lacking something vital. Show the world you can still be a positive, spirited, productive human despite your lack of hair. My experience with alopecia has certainly taught me to be genuine with myself and others. I believe by showing who I really am, it has encouraged others to want to diminish their fear of showing their true selves.